Has anybody ever been forced to fall out of love with someone? I've learned that's not an easy task. Honestly, I haven't quite mastered it yet. That's why I'm here to talk about it. I'm through suffering in silence, and maybe some of you that are here can share some insight or your testimonies about this very issue. I've ALWAYS believed when you TRULY love someone, you'll always LOVE them....no matter what. But falling, staying, and being IN-LOVE can change. I think it's easy to pinpoint a few ways you KNOW when you're falling out of love with someone.
- You fall in-love with someone else.
- Their imperfections irritate you.
- You lose respect for them.
- You no longer want to be intimate with them.
- Communication diminishes.
Those are easy ways to determine that you're falling out of love with someone. But what IF....none of these things exist? What if you love their imperfections (because that makes them who they are). What if you have the highest regard and respect for them? What if you only want to be intimate with them? What if you communicate all day and every day....and can't get enough of them. What happens when you have to FORCE yourself to fall out of love with someone who never really loved you. They were good at pretending.....in fact, Hollywood owes them an Oscar.
Although I still have days where I struggle with this immensely, most days I'm good with knowing I'm no longer in love with who that person has become. I don't know him. I know the person he pretended to be....and I remain loyal and in-love to HIM. But that person doesn't really exist. That person was loving, attentive, sweet, charming, anointed, and just an all around awesome person.
You ever watched someone become a completely different person, and although they physically look the same....they are different? He became a liar, manipulator, deceiver, just down right mean...and for no reason. And to a person that has been nothing but a loyal friend to him. I never spoke down about him, never revealed his secrets, I covered him even though I wasn't in covenant with him....I was a real friend that was a complete blessing to his life....even AFTER he got married. I listened to him, advised him, helped him, sowed into him. Discarded like yesterday's trash...…..I've always said, some people take the "forsaking all others" to the extreme.....but even in that, I've HONORED his request. NO communication.
A good friend of mine sat me down about a year ago. She cautioned me to be careful with dealing with him.... she said "his spirit is being deceived by a witch." Honestly, I was offended. I mean....she was talking about the man that I loved, and I was so very over-protective of him. Additionally, she was all the way in DC, what did she know about MY man that I didn't already know?? But she knew a lot. She saw what I was too blinded to see. I didn't listen, I didn't take heed. Once again, she was right.....and everything she said would happen, happened...it took nearly a year, but he did EXACTLY what she said he would. I remember that day clearly. I cried after our conversation because I felt like she just didn't "know him". She told me...."once he has no more use for you, he's going to drop you like a hot potato and then there will be chaos- you're going to be devastated trying to put the pieces of your life back together."
Now here I am. Trying desperately to fall out of love with someone that never loved me in the first place.
