When all this mess happened a month ago, I immediately began to feel like this was my Abraham season. I was stuck not knowing why God would want to take something from me that I loved so much. Why was he asking me to do something that didn't make ANY sense to me? Sacrifice my friend for what? Initially, I was hesitant...but I stayed faithful. Although there was hesitation, I didn't really question God. I've been living 43 years, and God has never failed me YET....I didn't think he would start now. I also know that whatever God takes away from me he'll give me HIS BEST (not better) as a replacement.
This last month I've spent being broken and hopeless. I've been thoroughly disappointed. I was hurt, and as a result, I hurt others (namely my daughter but that's coming in the next blog). I was emotionally bankrupt, and had truly lost touch with "Markeeda". I just knew "God had forgotten me". I had poured EVERYTHING into another person, and had nothing left for ME! I'm encouraged today though, knowing that God has NEVER LEFT me, even though those that said they never would DID. I whined and cried about wasting 2 years of my life with a counterfeit...but I know God to be a redeemer of time. I whined and cried about how much money I wasted or sowed into bad ground. And I was reminded that God will restore my lost years, money, and time. When people leave you, and easily discard you like yesterday's trash......remember your value doesn't decrease just because they were too dumb to see it. I am BEAUTIFUL---YOU are too, and once we truly realize how beautiful we are, we will stop entertaining those who don't match our hearts!
My Daily prayer: Dear God, Help me smile again, help me trust again, and help me love again. Please bring healing to this broken heart. Amen
